I love that my kids will have each other to lean on in their lives. I hope that I can instill in them a sense of family that they will grow to value. I grew up as an only child. And although it does provide a wonderful array of benefits and perks like having your tuition paid for and getting a car on your 16th birthday, it also has a tremendous amount of loneliness.
My parents both worked (owned their own businesses), so until I started school, I went to work with them or to the babysitter. After I started school, I went to work every weekend and summer and to the sitter's after school. I had to be very creative in finding ways to entertain myself. I started reading before kindergarten. I learned by watching Sesame Street and the Electric Company. Seriously. Books were a total escape for me. There happened to be a library branch in the shopping center in which our stores were located. I went everyday. It was my own little paradise. I would make up different scenarios in my head as I walked to the branch. I was a homeless child and this was my only place of warmth for the day. Or I was in college and I needed to go to the library to study. Or I was in a movie about a kid who spent her day in the library. Silly, I know. But it passed the time. I would spend hours in their. One time I fell asleep and the librarian woke me to tell me they were closing.
The library was closed on Wednesdays, so I would walk around the shopping center while Mom and Dad worked. This was after I had finished my chores at the stores: sweeping, stocking shelves, dusting, etc. There was a Baskins and Robbins, a sticker store, a pet store, Kmart, and the bank. They all knew me. I had spent countless hours in each. I always got a free ice cream cone at B & R if there were no other customers. I had a sticker collection too. So anytime I went into that store they would show me the latest scratch and sniff they just got in. I used to get to pet all the puppies in the pet store. It was really great until I had to put them back in the cage. I didn't like that part. Kmart honed my video game skills. They had the latest and greatest games with a station for trying everything out. I went there every morning and played for a couple of hours. I held the record for a year. The bank employees were my buddies. One woman, Stephanie, felt sorry for me and asked her manager if she could bring her daughter to work so that I would have a playmate. Her name was Tina. She was interesting. She taught me all the bad words and taught me how to shoplift. I never tried it. But, apparently this was how she entertained herself.
Looking back now, I realize that there were a lot of "pity play dates". Customers offering to take me for the day to play with their children. Even the folks that worked for Dad who had younger siblings arranged for playtime. It's odd now. But at the time, I was thrilled.
Perhaps this is why I've developed such a love for people. People are so interesting to me. After I meet someone who has left an impression, I think about them all the time. Like Professor Nwokah from Purdue. He was a boy who grew up in the bush in Africa. Some local missionaries raised enough money to send him to school and later to college in England. How cool is that? Or this amazing musician who could play any instrument incredibly and was so humble. He would play the guitar and it was like he was, I don't know, talking to it or something. Amazing. Or this gentleman at church who is dying from lung cancer, but he gets up everyday and helps people. He takes them to doctors appointments or to run errands because he still can. He isn't scared. He just believes that God still has him here because there's work to be done. His kids don't talk to him because they have their feelings hurt. I was sharing with him how my dad died and I'm so glad to have had the time with him that I did. He just smiled and said,"Well, I guess I'll be seeing him soon." I didn't know what else to say, so I said," Tell him I said hi." He hugged me and said,"I certainly will."
I love people.
My parents both worked (owned their own businesses), so until I started school, I went to work with them or to the babysitter. After I started school, I went to work every weekend and summer and to the sitter's after school. I had to be very creative in finding ways to entertain myself. I started reading before kindergarten. I learned by watching Sesame Street and the Electric Company. Seriously. Books were a total escape for me. There happened to be a library branch in the shopping center in which our stores were located. I went everyday. It was my own little paradise. I would make up different scenarios in my head as I walked to the branch. I was a homeless child and this was my only place of warmth for the day. Or I was in college and I needed to go to the library to study. Or I was in a movie about a kid who spent her day in the library. Silly, I know. But it passed the time. I would spend hours in their. One time I fell asleep and the librarian woke me to tell me they were closing.
The library was closed on Wednesdays, so I would walk around the shopping center while Mom and Dad worked. This was after I had finished my chores at the stores: sweeping, stocking shelves, dusting, etc. There was a Baskins and Robbins, a sticker store, a pet store, Kmart, and the bank. They all knew me. I had spent countless hours in each. I always got a free ice cream cone at B & R if there were no other customers. I had a sticker collection too. So anytime I went into that store they would show me the latest scratch and sniff they just got in. I used to get to pet all the puppies in the pet store. It was really great until I had to put them back in the cage. I didn't like that part. Kmart honed my video game skills. They had the latest and greatest games with a station for trying everything out. I went there every morning and played for a couple of hours. I held the record for a year. The bank employees were my buddies. One woman, Stephanie, felt sorry for me and asked her manager if she could bring her daughter to work so that I would have a playmate. Her name was Tina. She was interesting. She taught me all the bad words and taught me how to shoplift. I never tried it. But, apparently this was how she entertained herself.
Looking back now, I realize that there were a lot of "pity play dates". Customers offering to take me for the day to play with their children. Even the folks that worked for Dad who had younger siblings arranged for playtime. It's odd now. But at the time, I was thrilled.
Perhaps this is why I've developed such a love for people. People are so interesting to me. After I meet someone who has left an impression, I think about them all the time. Like Professor Nwokah from Purdue. He was a boy who grew up in the bush in Africa. Some local missionaries raised enough money to send him to school and later to college in England. How cool is that? Or this amazing musician who could play any instrument incredibly and was so humble. He would play the guitar and it was like he was, I don't know, talking to it or something. Amazing. Or this gentleman at church who is dying from lung cancer, but he gets up everyday and helps people. He takes them to doctors appointments or to run errands because he still can. He isn't scared. He just believes that God still has him here because there's work to be done. His kids don't talk to him because they have their feelings hurt. I was sharing with him how my dad died and I'm so glad to have had the time with him that I did. He just smiled and said,"Well, I guess I'll be seeing him soon." I didn't know what else to say, so I said," Tell him I said hi." He hugged me and said,"I certainly will."
I love people.
1 comment:
Well, you certainly can't say you're lonely now :)
Your post gave me much to think about regarding my little "only child".
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