times they are a changin'

I never thought that I would live long enough to see this day. I am sitting in my family room watching the first African American person accept the democratic nomination on the eve of the great Dr. King's speech. I am overcome with emotion in the moment. I feel as though the family tree for every African American family has just changed. Now, I feel like little boys and girls will look at this senator from Illinois and say, "Mom, I want to be the President when I grow up." We made history tonight. History.

heartstrings

I first saw Randy Pausch a while back when Diane Sawyer interviewed him and his wife. He got every one's attention when he created a special "last lecture" for his students at the university where he was a professor in computer science. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with only a few months to live. So he decided to leave a legacy for his three young children and wife. He encouraged us to live each day as if it were our last. If you haven't seen "the last lecture", take a few minutes and watch it. It'll give you something to think about.

Randy passed away on Friday. He wanted to make it to Father's Day. He did.

There are just certain people that cross your path in life that touch you. Maybe someone you meet at the grocery, or see in a movie, or hear on the radio. For me, Randy Pausch was one of those people. He touched my heart.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

the suffocating void, part 2

Yesterday my friend, Michelle, lost her dad. He had been battling lung cancer for the past couple of months. He tried several rounds of chemo, even an experimental drug. But, he lost his valiant fight.

It is agonizing watching someone else lose their dad. Not because of "reliving" a really difficult time, but rather seeing someone you care about in pain. Knowing what she is going through and what she will go through. I just want to hold her and make her feel better. I want to heal her heart.
From March 2007:
But I couldn't. It's just something we all have to go through in time.
I want to tell her that you will walk around in a haze for weeks. That you will see something really funny and pick up the phone to call your dad, and then remember he's not there. The suffocating void. You will miss his presence in ways never imagined. You will instantly become your mother's biggest protector. You will be blindsided when your son looks up at you and says, "Mom, is Dad going to die someday?" You will look at your beautiful children and realize that they too will someday go through this pain and you can't stop it. As a parent, you don't have time to grieve. Life doesn't stop. And so you will learn to allow your tears to fall alone in the shower or in the car or in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. Your dad's favorite movie will be on TV and you can't help but watch it through to the end, even though it bored you to tears weeks before. You hear a song on the radio and you collapse. You see that the world around you goes on as before and you just want to shout, "Wait a minute! Just wait one minute, please! I can't breathe! I can't breathe! Stop!" But, but no one hears you. It's as if you're in the nightmare where you are running as fast as you can and everything is in slow motion and you're going nowhere fast.
But, then one morning you wake up and you see a buttlerfly outside your window and hope is restored. You begin to see the beauty in a sunset like never before. Your little girl winks for the first time and you're convinced that a little "angel" taught her. You find yourself telling stories about your dad and celebrating his life. Remembering all the wonderful times you had together. The gift is, all the hard times are now very fuzzy and faint and really don't matter any more. Every picture is a treasure, every birthday card a blessing.
You survive. Amazingly, you survive.
For my friend, Michelle. May the Good Lord keep you and watch over you. May he shine His light upon you and grant you peace. Amen.