times they are a changin'

I never thought that I would live long enough to see this day. I am sitting in my family room watching the first African American person accept the democratic nomination on the eve of the great Dr. King's speech. I am overcome with emotion in the moment. I feel as though the family tree for every African American family has just changed. Now, I feel like little boys and girls will look at this senator from Illinois and say, "Mom, I want to be the President when I grow up." We made history tonight. History.

heartstrings

I first saw Randy Pausch a while back when Diane Sawyer interviewed him and his wife. He got every one's attention when he created a special "last lecture" for his students at the university where he was a professor in computer science. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with only a few months to live. So he decided to leave a legacy for his three young children and wife. He encouraged us to live each day as if it were our last. If you haven't seen "the last lecture", take a few minutes and watch it. It'll give you something to think about.

Randy passed away on Friday. He wanted to make it to Father's Day. He did.

There are just certain people that cross your path in life that touch you. Maybe someone you meet at the grocery, or see in a movie, or hear on the radio. For me, Randy Pausch was one of those people. He touched my heart.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

the suffocating void, part 2

Yesterday my friend, Michelle, lost her dad. He had been battling lung cancer for the past couple of months. He tried several rounds of chemo, even an experimental drug. But, he lost his valiant fight.

It is agonizing watching someone else lose their dad. Not because of "reliving" a really difficult time, but rather seeing someone you care about in pain. Knowing what she is going through and what she will go through. I just want to hold her and make her feel better. I want to heal her heart.
From March 2007:
But I couldn't. It's just something we all have to go through in time.
I want to tell her that you will walk around in a haze for weeks. That you will see something really funny and pick up the phone to call your dad, and then remember he's not there. The suffocating void. You will miss his presence in ways never imagined. You will instantly become your mother's biggest protector. You will be blindsided when your son looks up at you and says, "Mom, is Dad going to die someday?" You will look at your beautiful children and realize that they too will someday go through this pain and you can't stop it. As a parent, you don't have time to grieve. Life doesn't stop. And so you will learn to allow your tears to fall alone in the shower or in the car or in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. Your dad's favorite movie will be on TV and you can't help but watch it through to the end, even though it bored you to tears weeks before. You hear a song on the radio and you collapse. You see that the world around you goes on as before and you just want to shout, "Wait a minute! Just wait one minute, please! I can't breathe! I can't breathe! Stop!" But, but no one hears you. It's as if you're in the nightmare where you are running as fast as you can and everything is in slow motion and you're going nowhere fast.
But, then one morning you wake up and you see a buttlerfly outside your window and hope is restored. You begin to see the beauty in a sunset like never before. Your little girl winks for the first time and you're convinced that a little "angel" taught her. You find yourself telling stories about your dad and celebrating his life. Remembering all the wonderful times you had together. The gift is, all the hard times are now very fuzzy and faint and really don't matter any more. Every picture is a treasure, every birthday card a blessing.
You survive. Amazingly, you survive.
For my friend, Michelle. May the Good Lord keep you and watch over you. May he shine His light upon you and grant you peace. Amen.

joyful season of peace

I can't believe the Christmas season is already here. Every year it seems to just get here faster and faster. I think I saw ornaments in the stores before Halloween! We don't even have our tree up yet. Mostly due to the kids being sick and Doug's schedule. For the first time in years I am actually almost completely done with the Christmas shopping! This is a new personal record for me! It's hard to find time in between everyone's schedule to get out and about. Jack handed me his list for Santa. He wrote a nice letter and drew a picture and even wrote Santa a song. I was really tickled with his creativity. So I got on the ball and found two of his three items he had listed. I purchased them and hid them properly. Quite pleased with myself, I almost cried when he handed me a new list. I said, "What is this? I've already sent your letter to Santa." He simply smiled and said, "It's been revised!"
Good grief! Here I go again!
But, even in the craziness of gift buying and schedule juggling and doctor appointments, I am so thankful that I have loved ones to buy gifts for and beautiful children to drive hither and yon and good medical care that I can afford. Yep, I have a lot to be grateful for this year. I have a devoted husband and spunky kids and a healthy mom and amazing friends who know just when I need a hug. Yep, this season while we are hustling and bustling, it will never be far from my heart just how blessed I am. I have a lot to be thankful for. And I am grateful, truly grateful.

the dream

There's a new voice in heaven tonight. My father's lifelong dream has finally come to fruition. Can you hear it? The amazing tenors singing in beautiful harmony as the heavenly choirs join in chorus. Dad sang in the opera when I was a little girl. I grew up listening to the effortless voice of Luciano Pavarotti. One of my fondest memories is listening to Dad sing with Pavarotti as we drove to work on Saturday mornings. Pavarotti was Dad's vocal hero. And now, now he will have his perfect dream and sing from the top of his lungs with the voice that he treasured. I can almost hear it now if I listen really hard..."Vincera! Vincera! Vincera!!!"

the silver cup

This year the chair of the Kentucky State Fair Wine Judging honored my Dad by awarding the Dave Streckfus Silver Cup to the finest Cabernet Sauvignon. He asked me to present the award today. Usually, it's the parents who get to stand on the sidelines and cheer on their children. Today, it was my privilege to cheer on my parents. It was one of the coolest experiences of my life. My Mom was a total celebrity. The winners were literally thanking Mom after they would win. Winemakers has been in business for 35 years and as I scanned across the crowd, I realized that Mom and Dad probably helped get most of them started. I was so proud and completely overwhelmed with love and pride for my folks. And it all started with the little shop that could...

every rose has it's thorn

Know You Grew Up In the 80's if:

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.

2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton

3. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom

4. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. !

8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

9. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

11. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

12. You wanted to be a Goonie.

13. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)

14. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

15. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

16. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.

17. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

18. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.

19. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

20. Jo, Blair, Tootie and Natalie were your best friends and you wanted to enroll at Eastland.

21. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

22. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

23. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

24. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inlineskates.

25. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

26. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulderlike you were all that.

27. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.

28. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

29. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

30. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"

31. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.

32. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

33. You just sang those words to yourself.

34. You still sing "We are the World"

35. You tight rolled your jeans.

36. You owned a bannana clip.

37. You remember "Where's the Beef?"

38. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"

39. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren'tyou!